Is Love Alive?

hey boys and girls,

I just finished setting up the rest of the year with the fabulous Chi Chi LaRue, Doug Jeffries and the rest of the C1R team. It's going to be good.

On a personal note, recently Turk Mason and I decided to end our on and off again 4 year relationship.

It's almost surreal to me. I love him so much sometimes i cant handle it. I just dont know. We are so different. It's hard for both of us.

how can you love someone when you have nothing in common? We started doing films together and actually he was the first model I had ever worked with, and vice a versa.

We knew this was coming, and we've taken breaks before. But actually having this be final is something that's very hard for me to deal with.

Is love alive?

How can 2 people love each other so much and then decide to not be together? It's very VERY dis-heartening.

I just got a phone call from my roomate and she told me that her and her boyfriend just broke up today and he's in the process of moving out of our place.

Thats the thing, they have SO MUCH in common. They fight sometimes, but it never seemed too serious.

and now its over.

Last year, i thought I would marry Turk. We had even talked about a wedding, etc.

and now its over.

Coming to terms is rough ... and giving up feels terrible...

But there's jsut nothing else we can do for each other but to let go.

So we did.

Life is great here, my career seems to be going in a good direction.

Is love alive?

Who can say for sure.

kisses and cuddles, bebes. I'll talk to you all soon.

<3

-V-

Laundry Day

hi hi hi!

The movie is wrapped and I'm pretty pumped! It was a gangbang directed by the lovely Chi Chi LaRue. Great cast, great crew and i made a few new friends too!

I'm doing laundry right now at my place in West Hollywood, watching (of course) the food network with the pup on my lap.

I'm watching these chefs scrambling around making all of these gorgeous dishes, and i love how the judges are eating this ridiculous food and they're just like "this is a little bland for me blah blah blah".

ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME?!? haha

I would kill an orphan to be a judge on that show and eat all of that amazing food!

oh wells

I gotta run and fold my clothes so i can look cute tonight!

love you guys, I'm sure I'll see everyone soon

oh and Wolf, you did a GREAT job on the red carpet at the Freshmen Party. <3<3<3

Hugs and Puppies,

-V-

New Movie and Life!

hey hey hey!

I'm so excited to film tomorrow (today) i cant sleep!

My buddy is picking me up and we're gonna hang!

Someone on facebook posted about models who don't care about our fans and i just want to comment on that for a sec:

Our fans are what MAKES US! If you don't care about your fans then you aren't a porn star, you arent even a porn model, you're a cock. i hate that.

you fuck on film for money, so you better love love LOVE your fans!

i love my fans and they are amazing!!!

anyways, have a great night bebes, i love all of you!

<3

-V-

Sleep Is For The Weak!!!

hey hey bebes

I just want to start out by saying and that I'm learning to love insomnia haha. I have more time to myself to sit on my balcony (which has been taken over by my roomies dog, Boogie) and just think. And by 'think' i mean watch all the drunk queens stagger back to their apartments belting out Lady GaGa.

Yep. *wink*

I'm shooting for the NOH8 Campaign this Sunday. It will be good to do something with my image that doesn't involve sucking in my stomach for 3 hours.

Speaking of that, I'm ALSO shooting a big scene the follwing days with Channel 1 and Chi Chi LaRue. I've always been a top in porn but Chi Chi and the gang are hell bent on making me versatile so after I recovered from bottoming for Jeremy Bilding (did i mention he's like 6'2 and has a giant dick?) and found out that it wasn't SO bad, I'm doing more. It should be fun.

Right now its a little after 2am and I tried to be a good boy and go to sleep, but the leftover chinese food in the fridge was beckoning me. Beckoning.

mmm

oh sorry almost lost my train of thought.

...

do i even HAVE a train of thought?? haha. Nope!

I keep getting offers to dance at TigerHeat in my e-mail, but i feel a little self concious haha. All the guys there (from what i remember) have pretty sick bodies. Now, I do like the way I look. But there's a difference from being a cute guy walking down the street to dancing in my undies on a box in front of a few hundred people.

"But Vance", you ask, "You do PORN! How can you be self concious about dancing??"

to which i cooly reply

"I dunno! i'm cwwaaazzyyy"

end scene.

I'll probably just do it. It's great music (so whoever you are, Tigerheat DJ, me likey you.), a great workout, and people put moneys in my undies which then buys me tacos. and i love tacos.

I want to keep writing but i dont want to rant more than i am. But i guess a blog is FOR ranting, no??

yay!

ok ok I'll spare you.

We'll talk soon, bebes.

life is good, so don't worry about anything that isnt life threatening.

I know I know, i give the best words of wisdom.

Nighty Nights

<3

-V-

ps - Is there a way to post pictures on here with my blog? if you know the internet voodoo magic that i need, let me know!

My place in the world of porn

This is officially my first blog i think?  I've never done it before so here goes nothing ...

This is my first year with a major adult company backing me and it's been great.  I'm re-signing in September and I have a feeling this is going to be a big deal for me.

I've been getting to know some of the models and thats been fun too, but I can't help feeling like some kind of an outsider in the porn world.

I dont know what it is.

I go to events, meet people and do interviews.  But i feel like something just isn't 'sticking' with me.  Well not with me, but ... with other people with me?  haha I dont know if that made sense.

I want to be more popular than I am, I think.  But I dont know how to do that.

I have a strong fan base and I am so thankful for that, but I just dont know how to break into that side of being a Porn Star instead of just being a Porn Model.

I'm happy, but I want more.  I want to travel and do events, I want to MC here in town, I want to be BIG.  I want a lot and I think I can do it, I just need everyone else to think the same thing.  That's the challenge.

I hope it happens for me, and until then I'm going to keep trying.

Nighty night boys and girls.

This was my first blog.  Rawr.

Get ready for a change.  Winter's coming.

-V-

Blog!

Hey everyone!

I'm about to get addicted to blogging!

Check me out on Myspace, Facebook and Twitter!

<3<3<3

-V-